Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Citigroup lifts banking curbs on gun makers and sellers - NBC News

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

My girlfriend told me that she wants to move in with me. I have my own apartment and I like my peace and quiet, but I also love her. We've been together for a year now. What should I do?

I actually pay taxes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Would Donald Trump's reelection make the world more dangerous?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

I see through liars

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Neuroscientists find individual differences in memory response to amygdala stimulation - PsyPost

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Fed’s Waller sees path to multiple interest-rate cuts this year - MarketWatch

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Is modular building a fix for NY's housing crisis? State officials hope so. - Gothamist

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Whats the rule that makes "please" pronounced the same as "pleas"?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

US won't label China a currency manipulator amid tariff war - AP News

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What sexual experience did you have at a highway rest area?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Mario Kart World Is Not An Open-World Game, Nintendo Says - GameSpot

I don’t buy bullshit

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

NYC summer stargazing seasons kicks off with triangle, meteor showers - Gothamist

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

How do people develop stage 4 cancer without noticing until it’s too late?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

ESA’s Bug-Eyed Robot Telescope Just Spotted Its First Asteroid — And It Could Save the Planet - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What great song was "ruined" once you really listened to the lyrics?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet